I Won’t Be Home for the Holidays…20 Excuses to Avoid Holidays with the Family

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Let’s be real…For most people the holidays are extremely stressful. When the holidays roll around, it can be hard to remember that these are supposed to be a time of joy.

There’s so much pressure on family relationships and you constantly have to put up with judgmental in-laws or critical mothers who don’t understand what’s going on. Add kids throwing tantrums into the mix, plus all those hours spent cooking/cleaning and buying gifts for people at work…it really seems like too many things go wrong this time of year!

Despite all of this, people often plaster on a smile and act as if it is the most wonderful, spectacular time of the year. But as we know from past years’ experiences (and some good old fashioned eye rolling), eventually everything falls back into place after Christmas is over.

How to avoid family at Christmas

So if you are looking for a good reason to stay at your house in your pajamas all Christmas day or you just need a chuckle, here are 20 of our favorite excuses to avoid the holidays with family.


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  • I’m allergic to the tree.
  • My blood pressure has been high, and my doctor prescribed a holiday season away from my family.
  • I have a lot on my DVR that I need to catch up on.
  • We have reservations at a local barn to reenact the first Christmas.
  • I joined a cult, and I can’t talk to you anymore.
  • Our dog ate all of your presents.
  • We really need to get a head start on our taxes.
  • My parole officer doesn’t think it would be a good idea after what happened last year.
  • My cat needs a bath.
  • I am temporarily blind after looking at too many Christmas lights.
  • We are still sick from your Thanksgiving cooking.
  • I don’t want to exacerbate my gift opening injury from last year.
  • We had to join witness protection for reasons we can’t share.
  • Timmy is stuck in a well.
  • I am protesting unfair work practices at Santa’s workshop.
  • We signed up to participate in a new SPF research experiment, and we will be in Hawaii.
  • We are no longer participating in silly traditions…Such as pretending to like each other just because it is a holiday.
  • We just realized we have been using a calendar from last year, and we already celebrated Christmas.  
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  • We don’t have a car big enough to transport all the gifts we selflessly bought for everyone. We will just mail it to you.
  • I just have way too much wine…I mean work.
  • I just had surgery on my ear drum, and the doctor said I should stay away from shrill complaining.
  • Time is money, and you don’t have enough to pay me to spend a day with you.  
  • I don’t know how to tell you this…but I am Santa. December 25th is the only day I get to rest.

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