20 Thoughts Every Mom Has Had

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woman holds up laughing child 3

 20 Thoughts Every Mom Has Had 

  1. Did I just sound like my mother? Oh my gosh, I sound like my mother. 
    Word to the wise, don’t tell her about this. You’ll just get an “I told you so.” No one likes that. 
  2. Teenage me would hate me right now. 
    She probably would. 
  3. What is that smell? Good lord, what is that smell?
  4. I’m totally killing this parenting thing. 
    Heck yes you are, own it! 
  5. Is it bedtime yet?
    There is no shame in moving up that bedtime occasionally. Growing bodies need rest. 
  6. Would it be inappropriate to put my husband in timeout?
    Sometimes, they need it.
  7. Who designed this thing?
    Clearly, it wasn’t someone with kids. 
  8. Parenting is hard. 
  9. Would it be terrible if I took them to school and then went back to sleep?
    So tired. Need coffee. 
  10. I should have bought stock in baby wipes.
    You will never, ever stop buying them.
  11. Pacifiers are the Horcruxes of the parenting world.
    I mean, this basically speaks for itself. 
  12. Why doesn’t Netflix have a ban button?
    Let’s just scroll by quickly and hope they don’t see. Crap they saw. Oops, look like that episode can’t play today, sorry kiddo! 
  13. My ears are going to bleed.
    Kids are great. I love listening to their stories – mostly. But when there are 6 side stories, step by step breakdowns of the most basic elements and sixteen “and then’s” your ears start to feel like they’re going to bleed. Stay engaged mom, nod, and smile. After all, we’re building self-esteems right? 
  14. Okay, you’re my favorite child at this moment. 
    Sure, sure. We don’t play favorites. But let’s be real, there are days when one of them does a chore without asking. Or crawls up on your lap for unsolicited cuddle time. In that moment, there is definitely a favorite. 
  15. I won’t make our schedule so busy next year. 
    Soccer, band, dance, girl scouts. The list is endless. Everyone needs a day off. Every year we say we won’t do this again. But here we are Susan, here we are. 
  16. Today was the best day. 
    There are those amazing, rare unicorn days. Days when arguing is at a minimum, the kids let you sleep in, it’s lazy and slow, you decide to take the family to brunch or dinner and ice cream. It’s just perfect. 
  17. I could have another.
    This thought is usually had on one of the “best days.” Give it at least 48-72 hours before making any life-altering decisions here. 
  18. Awe look at them sleep!
    They’re so peaceful and quiet. It’s times like this you want them to stop growing forever. 
  19. This parenting fail is definitely going on Facebook. 
    Sometimes misery really is better with company. Sometimes you just need to be reminded that you’re not alone in this. 
  20. I ought to ______ (insert unreasonable thing you would never do), that will teach them a lesson.
    Listen, sometimes, we just need to fantasize about leaving the screaming toddler in the middle of Target. Would we ever? Absolutely not. But would it teach them a lesson…maybe?


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